My love of a play on words finds a suitable outlet today as this is the last day of the month and, while I have not managed a post for every day, I have managed something on most days. I must admit that the one post that I fully intended to prepare but have not done so until now is one foreshadowed right at the beginning of the month regarding my Father passing away in July.
It was certainly no great surprise as he had not been in the best of health. However, we had held a lovely 90th birthday party for him in April where he was in good spirits and we had gone out for a meal at a local restaurant with my Sister and her family and my cousin K and his wife A as well as dad’s friend J. Thereafter, he had a couple of falls and as a consequence agreed (after much debate) to go into a local nursing home. I went back to see him in June for a couple of weeks and stayed on as his health continued to deteriorate so I was lucky enough to be with him and I guess to mentally prepare myself.
We had spoken via zoom/teams on most days during the pandemic lockdown and had continued after this had finished, incorporating a regular quiz or crossword in our chats - usually fixed for around 6 or 6:30pm UAE so I could catch up with him after work. He generally saw J on Wednesday’s and one day at Weekends when he would be otherwise engaged but for the most part we spoke pretty much every other day and on either Saturday or Sundays I would speak to him from the back garden with a G&T shortly before firing up the BBQ.
One of Dad’s great strengths was his enthusiasm whether it was for travel, sport (rugby and chess in particular), music (the sound of his jazz or classical pieces played on his baby Grand piano regularly wafted up through the house while I was lying in bed of an evening all through my childhood and whenever we stayed with him), travel and of course technology - he was an early adopter of the latest Hifi and music systems, computers and communication technology and so zoom/teams/skype held no fears for him (although like the rest of us he did get a bit grumpy when the tech did not work as planned). As a result we were able to keep in close contact over the last few years and I guess this has been the most difficult bit to come to terms with as I still find myself - when reading some bit of news or watching a rugby/cricket/football match - that dad would have enjoyed a chat about this.
His final illness and his funeral came at a particularly busy/stressful period at work so July was a bit of a blur. The funeral itself was lovely with a huge turn out or friends (mainly from the Bowls Club where he was a stalwart member and honorary secretary) and family that reminded us all of how much he had touched and influenced so many people.
My Sister and I delivered the Eulogy - must admit that it was probably the easiest piece of public speaking I had to prepare as there was so much material from his life (and the fact that he had published 4 volumes of memoirs meant fact checking was not an issue) but also one of the most challenging to deliver (a fact that I had not really considered until around half way though when it suddenly struck me - just as I was saying that I always ran past him for his feedback what I was going to say when I had a really important presentation/speech to give - that I had lost a friendly and very insightful sounding board for life’s big issues…).
He was a lovely chap and I hope that I will have the same drive and enthusiasm as he had when seizing the opportunities life presented and to live it to the full (his retirement in particular was an objective lesson in travelling the world and fulfilling ambitions).
Much of this I suspect was driven by the challenges he faced in growing up in the 1930/1940s in war-torn Britain without a Father and he has set the family terrific example of how to make the most that life has to offer. I hope I can emulate him.
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